Science, connection and why no one will fully get you.

Many people that I connect with, do not feel fully understood, either as a person or in their deepest passion. Whether it is about happiness, life itself, a job, love, music or anything else that moves you; there might be a few people who feel exactly the same, but the majority of the people might not fully get it. All of it can be explained by one simple graphic.


Here is my “scientific” approach on why there’s hardly anyone in the world who will fully understand you, while at the same time it is possible to find a connection with everyone. Every person has his or her own frequency. An overall number, which can be broken down into a frequency per characteristic. In the chart you can see three different frequencies.

How frequencies can lead to connection

When you meet someone at a party (or a train station) it is easy to connect because of a common interest, something you both do in your daily life like hunting. However, sometimes you feel connected immediately, even if you have not figured out yet what you have in common. On an subconscious level, you both have sensed that you have characteristics with a similar frequency. The more frequencies you have in common, the more familiar it feels like and the easier it is to experience a deep connection. The two of you are literally along the same line, you’re both an A or both a B in the chart.

How frequencies can lead to misunderstanding

Clipboard06Imagine you are person B. Person A and you have quite an overlap in frequency, as the width is equal.  Let’s say you are both equally cheerful, at least that’s how it appears to the outside world. Once you start talking, person B can fully understand what moves and makes person A cheerful. After all, it’s all within person B’s reach. But once person B starts talking, person A will only understand half of what B is talking about. Not because A doesn’t want to, but A simply cannot feel how B feels, because it is out of A’s reach. A might feel like B is exaggerating, drifting off, etc. Whereas B might think A is not interested and B might become disappointed; after all, of all people A should understand him/her, as they have the same thing in common… Which is only partially true and that’s how misunderstanding is created.

The higher the peak, the higher someone’s sensitivity. In the chart C is a highly sensitive person, at least for one characteristic. But C has a difficulty when C would be in a room with only A’s and B’s; as both the height and the width of the frequency are not in line with either A or B, it will be harder to connect. This happens for example with some highly intelligent people, whose IQ is outstanding, but on a social level are not able to interact with others. C does not feel recognized for his/her outstanding skills while A and B do not have a clue what C is talking about.

No one will get you though you can connect with everyone

Let’s assume every person has at least 1000 characteristics, some are dominant (broader frequency), others hardly present (narrower) and all with their own sensitivity (height). Add them all up and everyone has their own unique mix, which even changes over time due to everything we learn and experience.
I’ve never been good at statistics (quite narrow and low frequency there), but I know for sure that chances are really low that you will ever meet a person with whom you will have similar frequencies for all characteristics. Therefore it is likely no one will ever fully understand you.

Sounds depressing? Look at it from the bright side. Chances are just as low that you will meet someone with whom you do not have anything in common at all. After all, there must be one thing where you both have a similar frequency.

And that’s where the eye contact comes in

clipboard31With words, you might not always be able to find out in two minutes what you have in common. Whereas your subconscious is much faster. By just looking and not getting distracted by talking, there’s always something that you will recognize; even if it would only be that very low and narrow frequency for statistics that you have in common. Somewhere the two sub-consciousness will find a match and the connection is made. Which feels good, because you get recognized for a part of who you are.

It also explains why every Two minute connection is unique. Why some connections feel really down to earth and others are highly spiritual. Why some feel sparkling and others more serious. Emotional or rather rational. Why it can feel like I have known people for years. Spectacular? Not really, it’s all in the graph.. 😉

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