To fight or to marry

“There’s an old saying that you will fight or marry once you’ve had intense eye contact, isn’t that right?” a man said to me recently. I smiled and answered I surely didn’t hope so, or otherwise I should had been fighting and/or marrying over a thousand people. Even to me that is a bit too much.

He was not the first, there are more people who have heard or read somewhere that you can hopelessly fall in love with someone due to intense eye contact. Before they start the connection, those people often ask giggly whether they will not fall in love; one might ask because he would actually love to, the other because he certainly wants to prevent that from happening.

How can it happen, that you can really feel like falling in love within two minutes? Of course love at first sight exists, although you will not need two minutes for that, a single second will do. But that’s not what I am talking about right now. I think what is happening, is that you can feel genuine love during two minutes of eye contact, but within the Netherlands we lack both language and examples to explain and name what is happening.

Yes, I can intensely love the person who sits opposite me during the two minutes of eye contact. And that is exactly where our language and upbringing are falling short; it is normal to love your family, best friends and your loved one, your partner. Just feeling love for someone you barely know is a bit odd, unless you have fallen in love. Because your rational side likes to be able to explain what is going on, it will link that sudden feeling of love during the eye contact to falling in love, as that is the only description that comes close to what you are feeling at that moment.

Actually it means that your rational side is struggling to explain what is happening as it doesn’t have any other words to describe it. This is my explanation; during those two minutes I can feel butterflies, dance around in my mind, experience a magical moment, being together in a warm, familiar and wonderful way. I can feel like being in love, without being it. The feeling is an expression of intense happiness, recognizing and acknowledging something that is way bigger. It is the recognition of the source of love that we are both part of and the acknowledgement of the loving person we both are.
That goes beyond falling in love.

Geef een reactie

Het e-mailadres wordt niet gepubliceerd. Vereiste velden zijn gemarkeerd met *